To Do List

tastefullyoffensive:

  • Wear shirt that says “Life.” Hand out lemons on street corner.
  • Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.
  • Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.
  • Go into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” with a straight face.
  • Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
  • Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is “C.” Enjoy the show.
  • Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell “it worked!” and run out cheering.
  • Buy a horse, name it “Oscar Takes the Lead,” enter it in horse races.
  • Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, “I’ve been expecting you…”
  • Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
  • Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”
  • Follow joggers around in a car blasting “Eye of the Tiger for encouragement.

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(via resmc)

Source: tastefullyoffensive

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    Woah! Easy there, Satan!
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    How to enjoy life……(or how to find people with a sense of humor similar to yours)
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