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Everything is finePhoenix vs Mitchell & Webb

Phoenix vs Mitchell & Webb - Everything is fine

In an attempt to reduce my anxiety, I have combined the Mitchell & Webb comedy sketch Everything is Fine with the Phoenix Honeymoon instrumental. I’ve been listening to it on repeat, and it definitely does the trick for me.

Neither clip has been edited, they just happen to be a similar length and work well together!

Transcript of the comedy sketch:

Newsreader: …Causing untold loss of life and destroying several major buildings. If you’ve just joined us, the breaking news is that everything is now fine after a major incident. Let’s go over now live to our reporter Eric Turner who is at the scene of where everything is now fine.

Correspondent: Thankyou Tim, yes the news we’re getting from the security services is that everything is fine here and back to normal, that’s the latest. As you can see behind me everything is now fine, ignore the smoke that’s just from the recent explosion because as I say everything is fine now.

Newsreader: Can you tell us if there have been any fatalities?

Correspondent: Nobody is dying at the moment, Everything’s fine, there have been some recent deaths due to the major incident but that’s over now and everything’s fine.

Newsreader: So the death toll is no longer rising?

Correspondent: That’s right, everyone is either dead already or still alive just like normal. Hang on, I’m just hearing that someone else has died, but everything is fine now.

Newsreader: Thankyou Eric. In other news, everything is fine in Shropshire after major flooding. The mayor of Shrewsbury has described the situation as ‘totally OK apart from the water everywhere which will probably go after a bit.’ The hunt for the Aberdeen serial killer goes on, but the investigating officer has issued a statement saying that ‘everything is fine almost the whole time, apart from the very small interludes during which the serial killer is actually murdering someone.’ So that all sounds pretty much fine, now over to Karen with your emails.

Karen: Thankyou Tim, well obviously most of your emails have been about how everything is fine. This is from John in London, ‘came out of nowhere, huge bang, sky lit up red, but then everything was fine again.’ Julie in Coventry described how ‘everything was fine once my clothes stopped being on fire.’ And Arthur from the Wirral sums up the situation by saying ‘those of us that are left alive are all fine.’ Thankyou Tim.

Newsreader: just time for a quick look at tomorrow’s papers, The Telegraph leads with ‘fineness resumed after major incident.’ The Guardian goes with ‘major tragedy forms grizzly backdrop to general okayness.’ The Sun headline simply reads ‘fine’, the Mirror, ‘OK’, and the Daily Mail ‘everything’s fine, FEAR IT, FEAR IT.’

See also: why ‘everything is fine’ is good for anxiety.